With my constant battle to maintain a calm demeanour on the open road, and efforts to avoid putting myself in situations that would aggravate my tendency towards road rage, I find myself using little tricks to gain inner peace. I find this certain satisfaction and, my rage dissipates.
First and foremost, if someone on the road cuts me off, offends me, drives dangerously or stupidly, I call them an idiot. Not out the window but within my vehicle with the windows rolled up. This allows me to purge my anger quite rapidly and prevents escalation.
At other times I take note of the offending driver and keep track of him for as long as I can. If I can track him long enough, I may eventually see the offending driver himself annoyed. And I am pleased.
For example, the other day I was driving along the highway at a clip of 70 km/hr (44mph). The speed limit is 100 (62 mph) but due to the traffic volume, the fast lane was moving at 70. The fool in the car behind me was tailgating, flashing his lights wanting me to move move over. There was no where for me to go. Cars in front of me weren't moving any faster, cars to the right had me pinned in. So I ignored him.
So, Mr. Light Flasher switched lanes, swerved around another car, moved to the slow lane, all in attempt to bypass traffic in the fast lane.
Coincidence or bad luck? Just as he moved over, the fast lane cleared up and the middle and slow lane got bogged down, pinning Mr. Light Flasher in a 40/km / hr (25 mph) lane. As I sped off into the distance, my anger satisfied, as I watched flasher light guy falling behind in the distance. Idiot.
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| Bad Drivers get their due |
I love it when that happens. Or the idiots who zoom past you in the slow lane, cut somebody off and almost cause and accident, and stay at the same speed, just two or three cars ahead. Yeah, way to go, zoom boy. I had that happen once and got to a toll plaza. I have EZPass, so I can get through. The guy didn't. I waved as I went by and he was stuck in a line of 15-20 cars, which included several trucks. I never saw him again. Made me smile.
ReplyDeleteOr the guys that switch lanes 5 times to move up one car length...
DeleteI usually mumble to myself but when my wife drives she yells things out at the offending driver but with the windows rolled up. I tell her she should get a megaphone hooked up, you know like cop cars, so she could share her comments with the offending driver. You know, like "let's go, let's go stupid. The light turned green 5 minutes ago!"
ReplyDeleteI want one of those megaphones. And a giant nerf gun mounted on my car. So I can knock people out of the way when they annoy me.
DeleteHmm... that may be counter-productive to my battle against road rage.
Those are the moments I live for when I find myself being harassed by an idiot on the road. It's so satisfying when something like this happens. Funny stuff, Shawn. I especially loved the conclusion to this entry. It gave me a good chuckle.
ReplyDeleteThanks KZ.
DeleteI have to laugh, otherwise they will drive me crazy
Ah... how satisfying! Love it!
ReplyDeleteI had to be careful, VERY careful, even if there's NO traffic around me. Never mind it looked safe to do what I was about to do. As I was on the highway heading home, I was in the left lane looking to change to right and it looked safe to do anytime, but all of a sudden some a--hole in a Mustang blazed right on thru at what looked like 200 mph. If I wasn't careful the loser would've plowed right into my car. It's those insanely maniacal drivers that truly offend me. Seriously, honestly, they have NO business whatsoever behind the wheel. If I have my way, I'd yank their licenses for good. As far as I'm concerned, they have death wishes that deserved to be carried out. Such unbelievable morons.
ReplyDelete