Cabin in the Woods

What a better way to spend the days off before New Year's eve than away from the city and surrounded by snow? If you said surrounded by beaches, than I don't think that you and I are on the same page at the moment. Nonetheless, we took a drive 90 minutes north of Montreal to spend time with family. Far away from the big city filled, clean air and huge mounds of snow ideal for snow-shoeing, tobogganing and skiing. All and all a very relaxing time. Happy new year!

Highway 15-North outside Val Morin

The road to Sainte-Agathe

Boat house by the lake

Snowbound Cottage

With 80 centimetres of snow (32 inches) in just over a week, forget about white Christmas it will be a white 2013. This will be enough snow to keep the ski hills covered until spring.

Snow covered trees

Snowstorms Are Awesome

Snowstorms are awesome. I love spending twenty minutes shovelling out my car and clearing the snow from the windshield. It is a great feeling spinning your wheels on snow and slush and ice, trying to avoid oncoming traffic. I feel great when idiot drivers are racing through the snow covered streets and cut you off as they lose control of their car. Sitting in traffic is a wonderful feeling especially when it is for an hour and 25 minutes and it takes triple the usual time to get home. I love when traffic is reduced from three to one lane due to the piles of snow. I love the noises the snow plows make throughout the night. I love it when we have freezing rain and it takes me an hour to scrape the ice from my windshield. What else do I love about winter in Montreal?
I love when the city clears half of the lane, or one and a half lanes forcing all the cars into the middle of the road. It is amazing when there is no room to park but people do anyway and double park their car next to the snowbank. I absolutely adore it when six lane roads get reduced to one lane and cars in opposite directions have to take turns passing. Fuck it all. I'm going to Jamaica.

Stupid Winter

Things to do On Christmas Day When You Don't Celebrate Christmas

There are many people out there who do not celebrate Christmas. Many people do not consider that Christmas is not an American or Canadian holiday but a religious holiday. What do you do on Christmas Day when you do not partake in the festivities? My first thought? Nothing. Even the places that are usually open 24 hours are closed. But there in fact plenty of things to do on Christmas Day. Here lies a list of things to do on Christmas when you do not celebrate Christmas.

1) Write a blog post.

2) Volunteer. (I only thought of this one after I completed my list, and had to renumber everything. I needed one serious item. This is important. There are many community service organizations, outreach groups, soup kitchens and hospitals that need volunteers every day.)

3) Visit friends who celebrate Christmas.

4) Visit friends who do not celebrate Christmas.

5) Visit friends who celebrate Christmas because they probably have better food and are likely stocked up with alcohol and may have an extra gift for you.

6) Sulk.

7) Go to Chinatown. The restaurants are open today.

8) Go to a halal restaurant.

9) Why are kosher restaurants closed on Christmas? (I am not referring to this year. It is Saturday today after all)

10) Sulk some more.

11) There is at least one restaurant in Montreal that stays open 24 hours a day and never closes, Christmas, New Year's or otherwise. So, if you can stomach Chenoy's, your typical Canadian style eatery/ deli, you've got it made. But I warn you, never, ever order a milkshake at Chenoy's. Trust me on this one.

12) Go see a movie. The theaters open in the evening.

13) Leave the country. This isn't a last minute type of idea. You should have thought of this in advance.

14) Leave the country and do the 11 other things that proceed it on the list. Or sit on a beach, etc.

15) Go skiing or tobogganing.

In my previous life working for the radio station, I would volunteer to work on Christmas Day. First of all, I would get paid time-and-a-half. Second, I had no where else to go. Third, my boss would really appreciate my seemingly altruistic behavior, as, I usually threw in that my colleagues would probably want to spend time with their families whereas I did not need to, etc. Fourth, I knew that just for working on the 25th, they would automatically give New Year's Day off. Imagine starting your shift at midnight on New Year's Day. Or at 6AM. So I always had New Year's Day off.

A friend of mine would throw a party every year on Christmas Eve. He called it the Orphan and Jews Party. As he had moved to Montreal to attend university and never left, he had no family within a six hour radius. He recognized that many of his friends under similar circumstances did not have anyone with whom to celebrate. Throw in a few Jewish friends who were stuck reading lists of things to do on Christmas and you have a party. It was usually a potluck dinner with a couple cases of beer. Hmm... I didn't get an invite this year.

So, as today is just like any other Saturday for me, I'm going to drink coffee, read the newspaper, watch True Grit (the original) on TV, go to my parents for lunch, and meet up with some friends tonight just as the world starts turning back to normal.

Or go to a Matzo Ball Party

Snow Begone!

It's December 6th and I have had enough of winter. Today was the first major snowfall and I have had enough of winter. One hour and forty five minutes of sitting in traffic and I am fed up with winter. The snow started falling early this afternoon. The wind kicked up soon after. I had a meeting across the street from my office. The wind was pushing the snow so that it was coming down sideways, and fast. It hurt to cross the street. Hell, I've been living here in Montreal all my life and I still can't get used to it. Or don't want to. What is the weather forecast for tomorrow?

I left work a little later with the plan of avoiding the afternoon rush. It kind of worked. I think a lot of people went home early in attempt to beat the mess. A ride that usually takes no more than forty minutes took me and hour and forty five minutes. And I had to urinate. Well, I didn't have to. I wanted to.

The roads were snow covered, the wind was blowing and my speed topped out at all of twenty kilometers per hour. Most of the ride home was about focusing on the car lights in front of me, playing follow the leader. The snow had yet to be cleared and there was no way to know where the lanes started and ended.

Time to listen to the radio. Christmas music on 92.5, flip. Delilah introducing Christmas music on 92.9, change quickly. Crappy pop tune on 95.9. Flip. Nickleback on 97.7, change. Okay, settle in on 99.9 The Buzz, until the commercials come on. Flip. Damn missed the news. Flip. The Team 990, crap it's soccer night. Change. So there wasn't much on.

Made a couple phone calls. What's there to talk about? It's snowing and I have to pee . Sorry, I don't have to pee. I want to pee. Then, I finally arrive home, pull into the driveway and my garage door opener doesn't work. I back up, pull into the driveway and park in the one spot with two surrounding walls. Either the semi enclosure will protect my car from snow accumulation, or my car will be buried beneath a six foot snow drift. Something to look forward to tomorrow. The repairman is on his way, we have a service contract for the garage door opener so he has to come and he can't charge a premium for driving in this weather.
I'm not dreaming of a white Christmas. I am dreaming of a warm Chanukkah in Miami.

View from my balcony. That's my car, on the left next to the wall. No, the blue one with the snow on it.