The Jim Carey Meme

You may or may not have heard about Jim Carey professing his love for Emma Stone. If you haven't let me explain that this is Carey's most viewed film since 2003's Bruce Almighty. Many people gave up on Jim Carey long before Jenny McCarthy ever did. In the video we see Carey playing creepy to an Academy Award level.
I fell on this Jim Carey Meme first at the No Named Dufus blog. I also discovered another of my regular reads Cardio Girl had added her own interpretation.

You can watch the video on the intergoogle but the video is being taken down quicker than you can say copyright infringement. Here is the transcript.

Carrey’s desperate message to Emma Stone

I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled-faced kids.

Jim Carey

We’d laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex?(Stares into the distance imagining all kinds of lewd, creepy scenarios involving food, fur and who knows what else.)
Every day, for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little gray in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernible signs of aging that I can find so far.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You’re pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.

Since Dufus nicked the transcript from Cardio Girl's site, I took it from his. And following the theme of the meme, below find my love plea, that I will call An Ode to My Commode. Video follows. I can say there's some really crappy editing on my part.



I just wanted to let you know that without you I am full of shit. My toilet, you are always there when I need you. At times you may get pissed but you always take me back.
You have taken so much shit from me yet, you are always so open to anything new I might bring up.
My time spent alone with you is always so peaceful, whether I am reading the newspaper or writing. At work, you are always there when I need to escape. You sit by when I need to take a break. Even when the nasty cleaning lady tries to chase me away. 

You may grow cold when we are apart but when I am near you warm up very quickly. Nothing between us is ever half-assed. I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.