Burgers Burgers Burgers

I had Harvey's restaurant coupons but realized they were all two-for-one specials on their Trios. That's too much for me to eat. I went anyway and I gladly paid full price for a burger. The burger was so good that after I ate, I went back and gave the cashier more money. Heck, I gave her all my money.

Among my friends is this ongoing debate; which fast food joint serves up the best burgers? It used to be that I would receive McDonald's coupons in my mailbox and I would scream with childish glee. The side effects of age and a greater health awareness has tempered the excitement. With age and fears of the bad cholesterol, the trips for a hamburger are fewer and farther apart. I also no longer eat a pound of meat in a single sitting.

But with salads at every meal, oats at breakfast and, plenty of exercise, we can still enjoy a fast food burger from time to time.

A and W

So, if we compare the big fast food burger joints in these here parts, McDonald's, Burger King, Harvey's, A and W and Wendy's, but excluding the smaller local mom and pop shops and franchises. The one rule? The included restaurants must have a national presence. My study - over 40 years in the making - was probably one of the most unhealthy I have embarked upon. Second only perhaps, to my study of the best beer. Oh, and the best rum. And let's not forget,  best Tequila, vodka, whisky, schnapps...

The McDonald's Big Mac is a good tasting sandwich. It doesn't taste like a hamburger. The height of a Big Mac, and its many layers, requires use of two hands to pick it up. But after the first bite the sandwich is compressed enough to move to one.

Big Mac

Wendy's

I keep referring to the Big Mac as a sandwich, the combination of flavours while perhaps complimenting the burger, acts to hide the full taste of the meat.

Add the dressing, pickles and the rest and I wonder if there is some coat of water repellent that prevents the bun from getting soggy.

Tender beef, tart pickles, sweet and tangy sauce and the richness of the cheese complete the burger. Enjoyable taste.

The Wendy's burger is a little greasy with a real meaty taste. Wendy's burger also has a squishiness to it that surprisingly enough, adds to the charm.

Square patties on white bread. With mayo, dabs of ketchup, cheese and grease, complete the experience. I give Wendy's bonus points for their chili.

A and W is famous for their root beer and their family burgers, Papa, Mama, Teen etc. The 5-ounce burger patty of the Uncle Burger may be considered their premium sandwich. It comes on a sesame seed bun, with cheddar cheese, bacon ketchup, pickles, mayo, lettuce, tomato and onion.

Harvey's makes a hamburger a beautiful thing. Okay, so I used their slogan. Harvey's is known for it's char-grilled burgers and choice of eleven or more toppings. The counter server dresses your burger before your eyes with your choice of combinations. Lettuce, mustard, mayo, relish, onions, chili peppers... my mouth is watering. Harvey's is also known for their hot dogs, but the burgers remain their most popular item on the menu. The burgers tend to be frozen and this may effect the texture. Overall the grilled burger with toppings is among the best.

Harvey's Hamburger

Burger King serves up one of the most well known burgers around the world. The Whopper. The Whopper features a 1/4 pound flame-broiled beef patty, sliced tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, pickles, and onions on a toasted sesame seed bun.  A flame grilled patty brings out the taste for the BBQ lovers. The ingredients compliment the burger without drowning it out. Packed into one sandwich it can be a little messy, but this isn't five star this is fast food. And messy is fun.Unlike the McDs bread, you get the sense at BK that you are eating real bread.

In summary, Burger King and Harvey's offer the best tasting meat. A tie goes to BK and Harvey's for the overall lead. Each losing a perfect score for different reasons. Harvey's loses points for inconsistency from restaurant to restaurant. But still are awarded 9 out 10 points for their original build your own burger. They also lose points overall for changing their french fries every couple years. Burger King scores points for having a great flame broiled burger.

Wendy's is awarded a 7 rating and only a short step down from BK. They lose points for being all over the map and trying to please everyone. McDs score of 7 is for good tasting sandwiches but not a real hamburger. A and W gets a 6.5 score.

If you put all the numbered rating together, do you know what you get? 9857765. That's the telephone number for my cardiologist.

BK Whopper

Five Guys Named Moo

All Dressed Cheeseburger

Five Guys Burgers and Fries has opened in five locations in and around Montreal to little fanfare, advertising by word of mouth. Setting up in Old Montreal, the West Island, the South Shore and Laval as well as in Dorion, the boys picked their prime locations for an early breakthrough into the Montreal market.
With over 600 locations in the United States and now 60 in Canada the guys are making their mark. First thing you should know, Allergy alert! As per their website, Five Guys uses peanut oil only. And nothing is frozen, they also only use fresh ground beef.

There is nothing new about Five Guys. They serve hamburger joint burgers and greasy fries with a selection of fountain drinks. The Old Montreal location was hopping busy and the staff were friendly and helpful, answering all of my questions.
I ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a Coke and had plenty to eat. The food is fresh, the portions were big and I was full. Unfortunately, I wanted less food. Personal preference aside - I like my meat more well done - the hamburger was not anywhere near the best I have ever tasted. The fries were soggy and drenched in oil and under-cooked. A sign that the oil was not at the correct temperature. Or is this their style?
If you are looking for a burger joint burger with greasy fries at double the usual price than Five Guys is for you. Let's call it a 5 out of 10 for Five Guys.

The Works Restaurant

Tower of Rings

I cheated. I think the relationship is over. I guess you can call me a two-timer. After spending the day away from home, the big juicy burgers of The Works were calling to me. Yes, I cheated on Cheeburger Cheeburger. But being away from Montreal what was I to do? I was in Ottawa for the day and the tempting juicy burgers at The Works broke my resolve.

The Works

At The Works you have your choice of burgers. Made with beef or turkey, chicken breast, veggie or mushroom and even elk, all come in an assortment of pre-packaged combinations such as the Beverly Hills Lawsuit - fried egg, leaf spinach, havarti cheese, or the Field of Dreams - grilled wild mushrooms and gouda cheese. Or maybe you like a burger topped with macaroni and cheese? So try the San Francisco Treat. I had the Stephane's Ticket which is topped with mayo, swiss cheese, roasted red peppers and bacon. Standard burgers are available - if you just want to try a great burger with the basics- ketchup and mustard try the Ho Hum or Plain Jane.

Throw in a shake, The Works serves 36 kinds from Vanilla to Oreo Cookie, and pina colada. The shakes are thick and delicious. All drinks are served in measuring cups, 16 ounce or 32 ounce sizes. And don't forget your choice of the Tower of Onion Rings, Factory Fries, Sweet Potato, lumpy mashed potatoes or spicy cole slaw.
The Works just might be Ontario's best kept secret. Started in Ottawa in 2001, The Works now boasts seven locations in the greater Ottawa area, as well as locations in Kingston, London, Oakville and Guelph. My visit to The Works was at their Kanata location. The Works also features a kids' menu. A good review for The Works restaurant and their big juicy burgers.

Kids' Menu?

Vanilla Shake

Cheeburger Cheeburger Now in Montreal!!

That's right, Cheeburger Cheeburger is now in Montreal!! Opening at the beginning of August 2011 at 1444 Metcalfe in downtown Montreal, Cheeburger Cheeburger features an full menu of awesome build your own burgers, mix your own Shakes, amazing french fries and crazy good onion rings. Oh, and a really cute waitress. I really cannot do the restaurant proper justice, so go to We Work For Cheese for the review. 


Cheeburger Cheeburger's Famous Pounder is 20 ounces of juicy burger. If you have a smaller appetite, they feature burgers of every size, all the way down to the Classic 5.5 ouncer. Once your set on size, choose your cheese, be it Blue, American, Cheddar or five other choices. This place is all about selections. Choose from an additional 32 toppings that are included in the price of your burger. Or add some Specialty toppings of onion, mushrooms, or bacon.


Aside from beef, you can also get a veggie, chicken or portobello burger with all the fixins. And if that isn't enough, 60 ingredients are there to build your very own milkshake. My mouth is watering. And if that isn't enough to convince you, go read the review.

Cheeburger Cheeburger for Cheeseburgers

How Do You Fix A Broken Pizza?

How Do You Fix A Broken Pizza? With tomato paste. Ba-dum-bum.

I am in search of a good pizza delivery. Because, really? Domino's? You suck. What the hell are you putting on your pizza? Is that cheese sauce? What the...? How the ...? It's absolutely vile.

In my old neighbourhood I had a few choices and one great pizza place. Anyone in Montreal, in and around the vicinity of where St.Laurent meets the Met, order from Pizza Roma. It's awesome. It's not a franchise. It's a good old fashioned pizza parlour.

After one year in my new place I am still searching. I've tried five restos so far and the results were disappointing. It only took two attempts before I found a good Chinese restaurant. One attempt, and I found my permanent Indian food supplier. Hamburgers? Well, I am five minutes from Harvey's, Burger King, McDonald's and Wendy's. I'm about fifteen minutes from the closest Dic Ann's.

The old neighbourhood was Little Italy. The new neighbourhood, towards the west side of the city is a little more, um, gentrified. More franchise oriented. But I have not given up. Nor will I. I have a couple more options before I even have to consider opening the phone book. I am willing to work at it. Every week if I have to. I am willing to deal with a few more stomach aches. I am willing to eat pizza week after week until I find that great pizza pie.

Pan Pizza

Delivery or Delicio?

Pizza the Hut

Pepperoni and green peppers  
Mushrooms olive, chives,  
Pepperoni and green peppers,  
Mushrooms olive, chives. 
-System of a Down 'Pizza Pie'