Of Zeppelin, The Habs and Toronto sports radio idiocy

As U2 once sang, "It's a beautiful day!" The Habs' nutsoballs ex-GM, Pierre Gauthier is gone. The birds were chirping today. The sun was shining and as soon as I heard the news of the firing of Monsieur Panic Button, Led Zeppelin's "Rain Song" sprang into my head. Why? Because it may simply be the most beautiful song ever written by the iconic band, and I recently saw, via YouTube, a 1994 live rendition of the song that blew my mind.

In fact, here it is. Let it soothe you and bring peace upon you. Afterwards, I'll tell you some more about how there's no question that Toronto sports radio folk have no clue about evaluating on-ice talent. Meanwhile, here. Relax. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.



Now, let's re-up on the anger intake for a sec. OK, Toronto sports radio personalities, you know who you are... I get it. You rant for ratings. You compare and contrast and speculate on who will get what job, which athletes deserve their salaries, which teams are great, mediocre, shit (ummm... Blue and White jerseys, anyone?) But boys, when you state that the Habs are a worse mess than the Maple Leafs going forward after this season, stop smoking the wacky weed and talking crap.

Yes, the Canadiens had a marginally shittier year than the Buds. Yeah, more was expected from them and they had a GM that made Brian Burke look like Scotty Bowman (at times), but let's evaluate TALENT for a moment.

Habs vs Maple Leafs, Who sucks more?

I'll put up four names on the Habs' talent depth chart and let's see if the Leafs can compare. And I'm just talking bare minimum nucleus of the core of the teams that can help propel each one forward to some measure of success in the coming year.

Habs: 1. Carey Price 2. Max Pacioretty 3. P.K. Subban 4. David Desharnais
Leafs: 1. Phil Kessel 2. Joffrey Lupul 3. ??? 4. ???

And Leafs fans, if you scream at me that Dion Phaneuf compares to P.K. Subban in any form or fashion, or that James Reimer or Jonas Gustavsson comes even close to Carey Price in net, you're so delusional you need professional help.

This, combined with the fact that the Canadiens also have a bona fide warrior/power forward in Eric Cole and a solid emerging corps of D-men in Emelin, Weber, et al, clearly makes Montreal about 85 million steps closer to "good" than whatever Toronto has at the moment.

That said, today on TSN's 1050, the good lads on air had the audacity to say the Habs' were worse off than the Leafs. This crap drives me nuts. Guys, get a grip. Your team absolutely sucks. There's little hope. Randy Carlyle will have a big job ahead of him. Meanwhile, in Montreal, you're looking at a team that was in disarray all year because of managerial decisions and a lame duck coach. But never forget, the Canadiens went deep in the playoffs two years ago and last year took the eventual Stanley Cup champs, the Boston Bruins, to a seventh game that could have gone either way. With pretty much this same lineup.

Also, it's quite possible that your sister station in Montreal, TSN 990, has more hockey knowledge in it's office toilet bowl than your 1050 staff.

What have the Leafs accomplished so far this millenium? Haven't seen the playoffs since 2004. That's eight years folks. Could be eight more the way they look now.

Rant over.

It's St. Patty's Day, so it must be U2

I'm posting this at 11:15 p.m. on Saturday March 17, so technically it's still St. Patrick's Day. Therefore, it seems only right to me to posit my personal Top 10 Best U2 songs on this, the Irish day of green beer and hangovers.

So, without further ado (and because I have always had an unhealthy man-crush/music hard-on for Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr.) here's my "desert island" list. What do you think and what would you, if you are a U2 fan, have chosen?

U2: Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr 

10: I Will Follow (Live at Red Rocks) - Is there a better raw anthemic rock song from the 80s?
9: Ultra Violet (light my way) - Probably the most overlooked U2 song in my opinion.
8: All I Want is You - Rattle and Hum wasn't great, but this song sure was.
7: Walk On - Nice "comeback" album. Nicer song.
6: Stay (Faraway, So Close) - Hated the album. Way too weird. But man, this song. The passion!
5: Please - Pop was a mixed bag, some cool shit, some throwaways. But "Please" is a triumph.
4: Love is Blindness - Listen to any live version of this from the Zoo TV tour and tell me you don't get chills.
3: One Tree Hill/Exit - Most underrated song on The Joshua Tree. (And yes, "Exit" was supposed to be a part of "One Tree Hill", so it counts as one song in my book.)
2: Bad - Could've been my number 1 pick, but for the sheer overpowering awesomeness of...
1: Where the Streets Have No Name - An incredible opening track to the best fucking atmospheric rock album ever made. Here endeth the lesson.

Honourable mention:

- The rest of The Joshua Tree.

I Will Follow (Live at Red Rocks) 

About Schwartz's...

Montreal's Schwartz's

Let me tell you the dirty little secret about that venerated Montreal smoked meat institution, now owned in part by Céline Dion and Rene Angélil, that you might not like to hear: It's NOT the only iconic smoked meat game in town.

In fact, it may not even be the best smoked meat in town. Wha'!? "Blasphemy" you say? Listen, I grew up dans la belle ville. Spent 33 years there and had many a Schwartz's sandwich (medium, double mustard, fries and the mandatory cherry cola). And yes, it's delicious. No argument there. And yes, it's a part of the history of the city, Montreal Jewish history and now every Montrealer's history. It's a landmark. A foodie and tourist mecca. One of those places that puts Montreal on the gastronomic map. Yeah, yeah. I know. I agree. But hear me out.

People, there is an alternative to the now insanely popular and line-up encumbered Schwartz's; A more accessible, authentic Montreal smoked meat source exists mere metres away across the street! It's called The Main. And here's the dirty little secret that Schwartz's and their reputation-makers don't want you to know: The Main is every bit as good as Schwartz's. Yes. There. I said it. Damn straight.

The Main, Montreal's other smoked meat

My father taught me and my sister this (my mom hates smoked meat, so she abstained from the delicious viande fumée excursions my dad planned) while we were but wee kiddies. It was an invaluable lesson. Now, whenever I'm back in Montreal, I'll make a point of getting out to St. Laurent Street and popping by the Main. Sure, I'll sneak a quick peek at Schwartz's on the off chance there's no line, and if there isn't, I'll flip a coin and head to one or the other.

But let me tell you, for my money (and time) The Main is the shit. It delivers on quality, service and the decor is every bit as old, musty and atmospheric as Schwartz's. The only difference is, at The Main, you actually have breathing room and booths to eat at.

Again, I'm not disparaging the Schwartz's experience. Everyone should have it. But from my veteran Montrealer's perspective, The Main's sandwich is delectable and its relaxed atmosphere and perpetual non-trendiness makes it my choice for smoked meat in Quebec. Everyone should also experience The Main.

That being said, I fucking hope Céline and her entourage don't get it into their heads to franchise Schwartz's into some Nickels-type monstrosity. Leave Schwartz's alone! You hear me Angélil?! You purchased a living piece of Montreal history. Don't fuck it up. Just enjoy your lifetime of free smoked meat sandwiches and your V.I.P. stools and let the place continue to bring joy to taste buds around town. And for God's sake, don't try and muscle out your competition across the street. You can exist in harmony with The Main like Schwartz's has for decades.

God, I'm hungry now.

Things I don't like (as much... anymore)

So here it is, full confession: things I have discovered in my middle aging that I no longer have as much "like" for as I did in my younger days. Which admittedly is not that long ago. OK, ok, I'm riffing on Mr. O'hara's previous post. So sue me. No, don't. Please?

1. NHL hockey. Yes, I am STILL a pretty big Habs fan. But four things have now mitigated my once-intense love for this game. First: Concussions concussions and the very unfortunate habit of those with concussions to suffer devastating life challenges moving forward from said concussions. Second: My three children. All of whom I hope never want to play contact hockey. See? Four things. Now Go Habs Go!

Chicken Wings

2. BBQ Chicken wings from restaurants like Buffalo Bills, Wild Wing and everyone else who makes chicken wings. Heartburn! When the hell did I start getting heartburn? Lately. So no more chicken wings. Or take-out pizza. Or KFC (yes, technically chicken wings territory, but still.) Where's the Pepto?

Jazz

3. Jazz. I think I used to like it more when I was young, because it was supposed to be "cool" and "not rock". But you know, I just don't get it. Well, except for Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue". That shit's the shit.

4. If you're from Montreal, you know Premier Moisson breads. And man, I used to love those baguettes like Tim Tebow loves Jesus. But lately, living the last seven years in Toronto (where we do have access to Premier Moisson breads) I gotta say, I think there's better. Namely, Ace Bakery baguettes. Awesome!

5. Crappy classic rock stations. I was listening to Q107 here in the Big Smoke yesterday and I turned on the station three times during the day. I swear, I heard "The Logical Song" each time. That's not cool. I used to like that song. I'm sure the same crap happens on classic rock stations all over the place, including beloved CHOM FM with a renewed, slimmed-down Terry DiMonte. Yes, I'm well aware that classic rock is no longer being made, because it was all made back in the classic age of rock. But GEEZ! Guys, start playing more "deep cuts" from albums or something, it's becoming so... fucking... repetitive.

6. Mondays.

7. Facebook. Yes, it still is my essential reminder of all my friends and acquaintances' birthdays and I get the occassional tidbit of news or interesting video post from someone's update. But with this new Timeline function set to take over all our accounts, I just can't be bothered as much anymore. Zuckerberg, figure out a way to re-coolify your little program. It's gettin' stale.

8. Coffee Crisp. Just lost the taste for it. Don't know why.

9. Endless blog lists.

Here endeth the lesson. What say you?

The Barr Brothers

I just heard about this group. The Barr Brothers, that is. Great new band out of Montreal. Well, not so "new", since they've been around paying dues live gigging on the road since 2004. But they just caught a huge exposure break on David Letterman recently, and I assume many like me instantly took notice of their awesomeness in the form of their tune "Beggar in the Morning." Watch their vid for the song below. Wow. I mean... WOW. When's the last time you heard some smooth-ass, uncategorizable tunage like this?



Might be a little late coming to the party on this one, what with being a parent, hitting 40, and generally being out of the "young and hip" loop now that middle age is upon me. But enough whining about all that.

These guys are the shit. I've been looking for some new music to inspire, hit home and just plain evoke emotion from me. Last band to do that out of the blue for me like this was The Arcade Fire and their first album, Funeral. Another Montreal-based outfit. Go figure.

Anyway, The Barr Brothers... their eponymous first album hit the streets and stores and online retailers last year. Took awhile to filter to the masses, it seems. Hopefully this little, inconsequential blog helps change that a smidgen.

The Barr Brothers Photo Credit: Andre Guerette

Do yourselves a favour, go to their website. Have a listen/look. Close your eyes. Immerse in the band's fucking awesome soundscapes and if you like it as much as I do, buy this shit up. I haven't heard a bad tune out of this album yet. I sure hope they get the credit and sales they deserve and can roll out six or seven of these album-gems in the coming years.

Mature alt-rock-atmospheric-aural-gold. Nice.

And oh yeah, when's the last time you thought of a harp as an essential instrument to great mainstream music? Watch the little instrumental ditty below. Slightly reminiscent of Lindsey Buckingham's instrumental ode to Stevie Nicks called "Stephanie." Sweet, sweet... SAH-WEET!

Like I said, how do you categorize these guys? You can't. And who cares?! They rock... or whatever. The Barr Brothers, with opening act Alexi Murdoch, will be playing as part of the Montreal International Jazz Festival on July 1st, 2012 at the Metropolis.


THE BARR BROTHERS - Sarah Through The Wall Vimeo.

Can Facebook save the Expos?

The answer of course, is no. Facebook cannot save the Expos. That horse left the barn carrying David Samson and Jeffrey Loria some years back. They're gone. Kaput. Defunct. Pining for the fjords, as it were. Montreal ain't getting no MLB team back in the city any time soon.

All that said, a Facebook page is doing its darnedest to keep the memories alive and in technicolour for any and all remaining fans of the team to view.

The page at https://www.facebook.com/ExposNation has a massive (well, for a dead team, at least) fan base of more than 122,000 people and has been posting vintage photos, videos, mash-ups in a balls-put attempt to keep The Expos in the hive-mind of social networking's public consciousness.

Go. Have a look. If you're an Expos fan or a baseball fan in general, some of the imagery is just priceless.

The site is well-constructed, funny, sentimental and even elicits an occasional tear from we die-hard fans of the lost Canadian baseball team (may Bill Lee appear in Bud Selig's dreams as a cross-dressing crack-whore intent on pitching fastballs of hellfire at his nuts for eternity for this travesty!).

Let's all remember the following: Montreal is where Jackie Robinson played before being called up into the majors. Montreal is where Pete Rose was playing when he collected his 4000th hit (yeah, he was way past his prime and in the throes of his whole gambling scandal, but still). Montreal was the first MLB expansion city outside the U.S. Montreal is where "El Presidente" became just the 13th pitcher in baseball history to record a perfect game.

Ah, the memories.

And on a bit of a tangent, but still on Montreal sporting clubs… WTF with the Habs this year?!?! Thoughts/rants/recipes welcome.

The Devolution of Sports Radio

So there I was, sitting trapped in my car - again - in merciless Toronto rush-hour traffic. All I wanted to do to take my mind off the real world was hear some insightful, informed, provocative sports talk radio.


And in Toronto, that typically means tuning into The Fan 590 during the drive home show with legendary host Bob McCowan. So I tuned in, as I normally do. But he was on a jag about golf, and I just ain't no golf fan. Frustrated, I remembered that Toronto now has two dedicated all-sports talk radio channels. The second is the recently launched TSN 1050. It's being marketed with the tagline: "The Evolution of Sports Radio." Now, I'd heard some bits and pieces of 1050's drive home show hosted by James Cybulski (the show is called "Cybulski and Company". The "company" part is comprised of ex-TV host Gareth Wheeler, who also produces the show) off and on over the summer and just felt "meh" about it. And I should mention that every time I had tuned into 1050, for whatever length of time it was, inevitably the hosts were talking equal amounts of sports and film. And not sports-related movie trivia or some such thing. Nope. Just films the guys liked or actors in films. But I didn't think much of it, guessing they were trying to find some sort of groove and had fallen back on their outside interests in film. They're both pros, so it'll get better.


Well, it seems the 4p.m. drive slot on 1050 in Toronto has gone even further down the path of the cinephile. 


Now let me make clear one thing, I think Cybulski and Wheeler could be great on-air hosts. But what I heard blew my mind. While McCowan was busy interviewing and speaking about some major golf happening, James and Gareth were pontificating on the merits of some obscure film that had nothing to do with sports. And they wouldn't let it go. Seriously, the conversation went on for like 10 minutes. Anyone wanting to hear some sporting news was not getting it from these guys. Again, no disrespect to their broadcasting abilities, but the dudes were just waaaaaay off base with content. 


That was day one of the week. Monday. I decided to test my theory: that Cybulski and Co. were sorely lacking in sports topics and were using a safety net of pop culture discussion to get by and fill time when they had no real guests or sports news to report. And on it went. Tuesday - movies. Wednesday - TV stuff. Thursday - sports movies (OK, this one gets back to the realm of sports... but still!!) and Friday... well, I missed Friday because I left work early.


All told, I'm still a Fan 590, um, fan. 


Word to the wise to the TSN 1050 drive slot folks - start lining up more sports personalities and guests. Drop the pop culture conversations by about 50% and evolve into an actual sports radio show. Because as it stands, in my opinion, you guys are dropping the proverbial ball. 

TSN Montreal, TSN Winnipeg

Fan 590

New Columnist

Television Newspaper

Stubborn Fool and Stubbornfool.com are proud to announce a brand new feature. And with it comes a brand new contributor to the site. On at least a monthly basis – and more likely whenever we get pissed off – Stubborn Fool will feature a media column. The column will focus on the goings on in the radio, television and newspaper industries and will shine an opinionated light, in particular, on the Montreal and Toronto industries and in general on the national and North American markets. But here is the big news:

Newspaper Television

Joining Stubborn Fool is a blogger and veteran journalist who goes by the fake handle of Joe Bunga. Joe Bunga brings 15 years of print and online media experience to this forum. Together with my 15 years in the broadcast industry as an announcer and writer, we will impose our well-considered (and sometimes not so), critical and oft-times nonsensical opinions on you.
What's worse than bloggers and commentators with no experience? Bloggers and commentators who work in the groove and maintain industry connections.
Yes, we will be different from the rest. We will be critical and take a no-holds-barred approach. We will swoon over our favourites and shit on those who deserve it.
This is an addition and not a change to the format of the site. Mike Boone's radio and TV column is long-gone and has been replaced in part by Fagstein.com. What we will try to do is fill some of the great void that exists, with a little more knowledge than some commentators, and with a little less journalistic integrity. Keep watching this space for subjects that will make your head spin, your brain melt and, depending on your perspective, either cause you to have an aneurism or get your rocks off. We don't anticipate much middle ground.

The Bigger They Are The Harder They'll Fall

Too tired to rant and rave on the fiasco that is the NHL I begged a pleaded for assistance. And lo, a hero comes. Guest blogger and all round swell guy Joe Bunga to the rescue. My personal take is that since the NHL did not punish Zdeno Chara for his hit on Max Pacioretty, the Canadiens must exact revenge. Here is Bunga's take.

Cheap-Shot Chara by Joe Bunga

Chara

Look, in interviews after the game, Chara said he didn't mean to rub Pacioretty out like an eraser on the end of a lead pencil. However, the not-so-gentle giant made an excuse that Max "jumped" up and therefore insinuated that it was the victim's fault that he smashed noggin' first into the stanchion. Really Zdeno? REALLY?! Hey, tall goon ass, it's that type of "check" that gives hockey a bad name. Forget for the moment that it wasn't a clear "headshot", forget that you didn't try to hipcheck him or just skate with him (and on that note, the puck was nowhere in play, hence the interference penalty... so what the fuck were you doing lining him up for a massive hit along the boards anyway, you big putz?) no, instead you directed him oh-so-gently into a wall. Oh, and if you're going to sit there and tell me from your gigantic head that you didn't know where you were on the ice when you hit Max, then I bet you also believe that the Easter Bunny farts monkeys out of its butt and that Santa Claus is really Muslim.

Y'know, it's cement heads like you that are killing the game. How many parents do you think want to let their kids watch crap like that, let alone consider letting them play competitively knowing their offspring have a good chance of losing a vertebrae or two because some behemoth troll decides it makes sense to play like an idiot?

And to the league officials who decided that neither fine nor suspension were merited for this normal "hockey play", I have one finger for you. it's just a couple down from my pinky. Morons.