Restroom? More like Work Room

Using the public restroom takes some preparation. The word restroom is perhaps a misnomer as there is little rest with all the necessary preparation. The first step requires you to ensure the stall door is properly locked behind you - we must avoid the door swinging open whilst the jeans are around the knees.

Next, you must carefully lower the toilet seat with your shoe. For, should your hand come in direct contact with the seat you may acquire a full blown case of the cooties.

Next, grab a wad of toilet paper to wipe the seat - as the previous user may have missed the hole and wet the surface. As the saying goes, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. I say it counts for the guy who keeps missing the bowl and pisses on the toilet seat.

After carefully wiping the throne, discard the moist wad in the bowl. The wad of paper may not cover the entire surface area of the water. And this is important, if the entire surface is not covered when you start your business, and things do fall, an unwanted splash may be the result. Picture for example, jumping off the high diving board in cannon ball fashion and the invariable splash that ensues. Now picture this, albeit on a smaller scale, with the toilet water splashing your bumbum.

Next is the toilet seat, protect your sensitive bottom from the heavily used public seat by placing a toilet seat cover on the seat. If not available, doubling up some toilet paper will also do the trick. Next, it is on to your business. Hope you brought some good reading material! I recommend light reading, perhaps short stories by Jeffrey Archer or the latest issues of The Walking Dead. Or if more time is required, a Stephen King novel such as The Stand or The Dome. Happy flushing! Don't forget to wash up!

Double Cassette Deck

Sitting in my den the other day, it suddenly dawned on me, I have a double cassette deck. It's not that I didn't know I had one. It is just that the realization suddenly hit me. For what ungodly purpose do I need a double cassette deck today? I thought about it for a while and in purely functional terms

• I can dub one tape to another, 
• I can record a song from the radio,
• I can even record each one of my CDS on to tape.

For what reason, I do not know.

Pioneer Dual Cassette

I bought my stereo in 1995. It's a good one. Not top of the line (and hardly state of the art in 2012). But it is very good. I had extra cash from a severance package, wanted to spend it, and needed a stereo. Needed. The era called for a receiver, cassette deck, and CD player. I regret not getting a turntable. Albums last so much longer than cassettes, are more collectible and, I still have some 400-500 in my collection. I got rid of about 500.  With a little more foresight...

Pioneer Receiver

Cassettes were more portable but did not last repeated use. And they are too difficult to queue to the right song, unlike albums or CDs. Does anyone remember the supposed replacement of cassettes? The DAT (Digital Audio Tape). Yes. The same crap and shortcomings of a traditional cassette tape yet they last forever. (Truth be told, the recording on DATs is superior to that of CDs, providing a cloned copy of the audio.)

Putting things in further perspective, in '95 I had a car with a tape deck. So, if I wanted to to listen to my CDs, I had to record them on to tape. Furthermore, most of my old radio airchecks and demos are on cassette. I should digitize these before I lose them.
Once I do I will have no need for the tape deck. Unless, purely as a hobby, I record each one of my CDs on to tape.

This is a selective list of cassette tapes I own

Mr. Mister	Rush	Robert Palmer
Bob Marley	Jethro Tull	The Travelling Wilburys
Billy Idol	Tom Waits	The Lost Boys soundtrack
Kate Bush	Del Amitri	Extreme
The Cult	Bonnie Raitt	Iggy Pop
Hothouse Flowers	John Mellencamp	The Eagles
Texas	Robert Cray	Pearl Jam
Los Lobos	Robbie Robertson	Violent Femmes
Talking Heads	Midge Ure	Prince
Emerson Lake and Powell	The Police	J.J. Cale
Steve Winwood	Van Halen	A-Ha

I Forget

It's been a rough 24 hours. It started off with forgetting to give my girlfriend food and leaving it in my trunk overnight. Then, this morning I walked down five flights of stairs before remembering I left my ID badge for work on my dresser. I had to go back up to my condo. On the way back down, I realized my phone was on my dining room table. Back upstairs I went. This time I took the elevator.

About an hour after I arrived at work, at 9:05AM, my agenda started to flash reminding me of my 9:00 o'clock appointment at the body shop. On the other side of town.

All day Monday and then again on Tuesday one of my staff kept reminding me to complete a report for my bosses. As I started working on it something seemed all too familiar. I checked and realized I had already completed the report Friday last.

I did remember that this is my four month anniversary. So baby, if you are reading this while waiting for me to pick you up for our monthaversary date, that I forgot about, I'm sorry. I should be there within the next hour or two. Just as soon as my agenda starts flashing.

Buy A Vowel

I had a recent email exchange with some business partners. I cracked myself up. You may have heard of the adage, 'know your audience'. My audience is me. I make myself laugh all the time. I write this blog for me. I just hope there are more people like me out there. The email exchange went something like this.

George: "Shawn, Thank you for the information. It was terrific news to receive. The team appreciated it all the more at month end and prior to the weekend. I was wandering if you had last minute Easter hour instructions to share? We are off on Good Friday and Saturday but working Monday."

Douglas: "Shawn, George tends to be 'wandering' when he's 'wondering'! lol"

Shawn: "My ex said I had a wandering eye. I corrected her and told her it was only wondering."

Perhaps this line will become a well known adage as well.