Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

I had to fly out to the west coast for work last month. It was a short trip, I stayed two days. The flight was about five hours in each direction. It felt as if I was on the plane longer than actually at my destination.

It is the oddest thing, flying westerly through the time zones. What compounded the confusion was two nights in a row of not sleeping well and being tired from a very long day, and seeing daylight when, as far as my internal clock knew, it should be dark out.

I managed to keep myself busy on the plane by watching a few TV shows and a movie. I took off my shoes to relax, hoping the smell of fourteen hours in the same shoes would not be noticeable to everyone in the cabin, especially the lady sitting next to me.

I tried to make small talk with her. Twice. She giggled both times and mumbled something. That was before I took off my shoes, by the way.

My first morning in B.C. was a little confusing, due to the time change. I slept in until 6AM local time, but it was really 9AM back home. I usually wake up at 6AM, which is 3AM on the left coast. It was Thursday, but back home it was jeudi. Too confusing.

After working for a three or four hours and taking a late long lunch with my colleagues, I ended up back at the hotel at 6PM, or was it 9PM? Then I had to figure out what time I had to get up to catch the plane. 5AM or 8AM?

The room was okay. The motel was recommended so I asked the Office Assistant to book a room for me there. She arranged for the deluxe accommodations. Keep this in mind next time you need to book a room. A deluxe room in a motel, does not change the fact that you are staying at a motel. The room came with a king size bed. And a hair dryer. I do not need a hair dryer.

I still haven't pieced together how, or why, the sink smelled like pee.

I suppose the most memorable part of the trip was at the airport leaving Montreal. Not having to deal with international security and only airport security made the check in a breeze. Still, there are some security checks, but the rules are pretty simple. No liquids. Not everyone could grasp this.

After passing through the metal detectors, a twenty-something year old guy in front of me was pulled aside by security who proceeded to go through his carry on luggage. It seems his carry on luggage was over the limit. It looked to be over the limit for a family of four.

From what I could gather in those brief moments, his suitcase had been too heavy, and he was already charged $100 for the over limit. So, he crammed the rest of the stuff into his carry on.

The guard asked, "Do you have any liquids?"

He replied, "No."

The guard went on to empty the bag, item by item. After she pulled out each bottle she would show it to the guy, look him in the eye with raised eyebrows and say in that voice usually reserved for that idiot child, "This is liquid."

Then she would chuck the bottle in the garbage.

"This is liquid." Toss.

"This is liquid." Toss.

Out went the shampoo. Out went the Axe body spray. Out went the cologne. The guy looked like a douche so it was probably an expensive, smelly flavor of the month cologne, something like Bad Romance for Men.

I didn't stick around long enough to see what happened.

Coffee is still relatively inexpensive at the airport. Funny enough, a small bottle of water costs more than a large cup of coffee.

Oh, and if anyone from the Montreal Pierre Elliot Trudeau International Airport is reading this, there is no soap in the men's room.