Back in the olden days, Sears used to pay hunters handsomely for raccoon hides, which were fashionable. So this hunter goes out, shoots a raccoon and waits for his check. But when it arrives, Sears has a glut of raccoon hides and has lowered its prices and he only get 10 cents.
Being enterprising, he decides to shoot some possums and sell those for meat instead. He's in the woods when a train comes rolling down the track and he waves his arms like crazy to stop it.
The engineer brakes hard, brings the train to a stop and steps down and says, "What's the emergency boys?"
"There's no emergency, I'm just hunting possums and stopped to ask if you want to buy one for meat."
"Are you insane? You stopped a 100-car train in the middle of the forest just to see if I wanted to buy some possum? Jesus Christ! You know, I do like possum, tho. How much are you asking for one?"
"Oh, I haven't shot any yet, I just stopped you to see if you want one when I do."
And now for today's politically incorrect joke;
ReplyDeleteOfficer: You're going the wrong way.
Driver: I am?
Officer: DIdn't you see the arrow?
Driver: Arrow? I didn't even see the Indians.
Okay, that old joke reminds me of an old joke:
DeleteBack in the olden days, Sears used to pay hunters handsomely for raccoon hides, which were fashionable. So this hunter goes out, shoots a raccoon and waits for his check. But when it arrives, Sears has a glut of raccoon hides and has lowered its prices and he only get 10 cents.
Being enterprising, he decides to shoot some possums and sell those for meat instead. He's in the woods when a train comes rolling down the track and he waves his arms like crazy to stop it.
The engineer brakes hard, brings the train to a stop and steps down and says, "What's the emergency boys?"
"There's no emergency, I'm just hunting possums and stopped to ask if you want to buy one for meat."
"Are you insane? You stopped a 100-car train in the middle of the forest just to see if I wanted to buy some possum? Jesus Christ! You know, I do like possum, tho. How much are you asking for one?"
"Oh, I haven't shot any yet, I just stopped you to see if you want one when I do."
I just wasted several seconds of my life reading this joke.
DeleteWell, duh, it's not going anywhere but it's pointing east. Next question?
ReplyDeleteActually it is pointing to the right and in reality, west.
DeleteOn my screen, it's currently point east. Later, however, after the whiskey kicks in, it could be pointing in any and all directions.
ReplyDeleteAnd then you will need an arrow to tell you which way is up.
DeleteI always heard you were one way but didn't believe it!!!
ReplyDeleteKatherine, after posting this I feared someone would make a One Direction joke. So far nobody has.
DeleteNow that's creative - brilliant!
ReplyDeleteNow scrub the arrow off the road before anyone else sees it!
It created such a traffic jam!
Deletedepends...
ReplyDeleteThat's a fine looking arrow. It looks like it knows where it's headed.
ReplyDeleteIt's headed to the bar.
DeleteIt's pointing "that-a-way", of course!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are absolutely correct!
DeleteAnd the answer is...
ReplyDelete:-)
Traci